20 Things Every Californian Can Agree With
20 Things Every Californian Can Agree With
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Sometimes we need seasons, but are all secretly afraid of the cold
As fall arrives in California, the western skies grow golden at twilight. The weather is just warm enough to wear a beautiful dress, but just cool enough to fashion up with a cardigan without sweating to death. Fall is our new favorite season... until summer comes back next week when it's 90 degrees again.
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Legalizing marijuana is essential
I mean, Tommy Chong lives here. Why oh why are we not yet in the ranks of Colorado and D.C.? Roll on November 8th!
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We never need to go on holiday outside of the state
You want snow? Hit up Big Bear. If it's surf you're after then go west for no more than three hours and there ya have it. Romantic getaways in Napa. Hiking trips to Sequoia. City breaks in San Francisco. Silent beach-side towns on the Central Coast create a chance to unwind. If you want it baby, we got it.
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We're happy because of all the Vitamin D
Feeling down or a little blue? Get your butt outside and soak into that natural antidepressant. If this doesn't work then refer to #2 and #20. These are a guaranteed pick-me-up!
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Fuck. Traffic.
Yes. I'm looking at you Greater Los Angeles. You're the worst!
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We're bored of seeing celebrities
I am not sorry that I stole a table from Tom Hanks. I am not embarrassed that Tim Robbins caught me picking my nose. Richard Cabral, I remember when you were a non-speaking part in horror movies. Patrick Fabian, just remember me when you're winning your Emmy! (Sorry for chasing you through Griffith Park, Jenji Kohan).
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Drinking beer here is waaaaaay overpriced
Apparently you can get a pint in Detroit for $3. What the actual WHAT?!
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Our seafood is better than your seafood
Try and prove us wrong. We dare you. Clam Chowder. Scallops. If you're not looking to break the bank, just grab a $2 taco on the beach. It'll change your life!
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Palm trees never get boring
JUST LOOK AT THEM!
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Don't even talk to me if it's about the 405. DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME!
I told you once...
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Hollywood is actually Hollydive
It's dirty. It's smelly. It's full of weirdos dressed up as our heroes. The clothes are cheap. The tourists are a nightmare. The pizza is AMAZING.
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We have Republicans here, but they're beyond the Orange Curtain
Most of us don't venture down there, but it still exists.
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We invented “Dude”
Like, dude... whatever. Dude.
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There is no point in going to visit family, because they will all have more fun here!
Seriously. Who isn't happy in this perfect place?
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Every sunset is the most beautiful sunset
Case and point:
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San Francisco is hella good
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Los Angeles is legit
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Keep Santa Cruz / Venice / Humboldt weird
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Earthquakes aren't cool or fun
They aren't predictable either. Take it from a geographical scientist who has dated a handful of geologists, you cannot predict an earthquake. We are not 'over-due for the big one', we just know that there might, probably, be a mega earthquake somewhere here in the future. It's called forecasting. We're forecasting our destruction, but it's chill.
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Pitbulls are the best!
F U Montreal!